Sunday, 1/25, 3 a.m. - I had a contraction that woke me up.
Sunday, 1/25, 3:10 a.m. - I had another contraction that woke me up.
Sunday, 1/25, 3:20 a.m. - You get the picture.
At this point, Bryan and I were pretty excited. I'd only had contractions once or twice per day, so it seemed like we would be heading to the hospital soon.
HOWEVER, I continued to have contractions at about 10 minutes apart all day Sunday. Then all night Sunday. And all day Monday, and all night Monday. Mmmm-hmmm. This means I slept in 10-minute bursts for two days. Let's just say I began this Mommying thing a little behind the eight ball, sleep-wise.
Tuesday, 1/27, 8:00 a.m. - Bryan and I arrived at my last scheduled O.B. appointment with bags packed. Dr. Trainor's voice was like music when she said, "Go to the hospital - you're going to have this baby today." If I'd felt less like death, I would have kissed her. On the mouth.
Tuesday, 1/27, 9:00 a.m. - We checked into the hospital. Right away I began to execute my 1-step birth plan (1. Ask for epidural ASAP.) The people who administer these are called CRNAs - which stands for Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist. I called her the NNw/NN, or the "Nice Nurse with the Nice Needle." She came in and set up to give me blessed relief.
Nice Nurse w/Nice Needle - "You're back is really tight."At this point we were getting a good deal of attitude from Mean Nurse w/Nice Needle. Then, the epidural wasn't taking effect on the left 1/3 of my body. Which was A PROBLEM. MNw/NN kept insisting we look at it as 2/3 effective. It became a bigger problem when another nurse inserted the catheter and I REALLY felt it. The other nurse noticed that I was still feeling every contraction. (Umm, yeah. I heard them coming around the corner like they were wearing tap shoes.) After lots of back and forth, they placed the epidural again. This time, I finally wasn't feeling the contractions and felt better than I had in a month.
Me - "That's what my chiropractor says."
Nice Nurse Nw/Nice Needle - "What?! You go to a chiropractor? I have to warn you - you may have so much scar tissue we won't be able to do this. How often do you see him?"
Me - "On the same schedule as my O.B. appointments. So this month, I've been seeing her once a week."
Mean Nw/NN - "That's terrible! No one should EVER go to a chiropractor that often. This may not even work."
Me - "Mmmkay. Well, as I SAID, I went on the same schedule as my O.B. appointments, so for seven months, it was only once a month. Only this month has it been weekly."
MNw/NN - "Oh."
Since I never dilated past 5 centimeters the doctor decided to do a c-section.
Gradually, Mean Nw/NN turned back into Nice Nw/NN. She said cheerfully, "I'm glad we repositioned the needle. It can be really tricky cutting through those hot spots." Silly nurse. She was under the impression that I was going to allow someone to cut on a part of my body that still had feeling. I had almost kicked the catheter lady in the teeth - this wouldn't be a good idea on either side of the scalpel.
So, they cranked up the epidural and rolled me into the operating room. They gave Bryan a giant pair of napkin footy pajamas and let him join us a few minutes later. Surgery went well - the drape kept me from seeing anything gruesome, and before you know it...
Tuesday, 1/27 6:28 p.m. - I heard the most beautiful cry. A few minutes later, I was handed the most beautiful baby.
THE END. AND THE BEGINNING.