Sunday, March 2, 2008

What I Think

What is up, Internet? It's been a while. How's your health?

I left the last tagline up way too long. But, you're not thoroughly neglecting your website if you change the tagline, and I don't believe in doing anything halfway. The new one was my humble entry in another blogger's "Six Word Memoirs" contest.

I was honored to be co-winner of the "Invisible Internet People" category of this competition, and eagerly await my unspecified prize at an unspecified time. That's not exactly true; Lori's official winner e-mail stated that she would send it "you know, whenever I get around to it." You gotta admire the honesty. This chick is a much better writer than I am, and God knows she posts more often. So, if you like this, you'll love this.

OK - the following is NOT a political rant. I'm not suggesting you vote for a particular candidate. That's not what this is about. Think for yourself, and vote your conscience. Recently, I received an email forward that completely baffled me.

DISCLAIMER: Before I go any further, it's important that I note that I LOVE the person who forwarded me this e-mail. He did not write it, he simply forwarded it on. I've also reformed my old ways and no longer hold senders accountable for their forwards, so, no hard feelings, dude. The following rant is NOT targeting the forwarder, just the ORIGINAL WRITER. To avoid confusion, let's call this person, "O.W." (Feel free to pronounce it, "Oh Dubyuh" in your mind as you read.)

Also, the subject line was "What Do You Think?" Since this website is my little soapbox, I'm gonna hop on and express my opinion. There are many versions of this floating around, but I'm just addressing the one that hit my inbox.

The subject line "What do you think?" serves as this message's first defense against the delete button. Two lines in, my jaw dropped and it got a little hard to breathe. This email presented several arguments supporting why the "O.W." believes Barack Obama to be the Anti-Christ.

This post will, no doubt, get lengthy, so I won't copy and paste the message here. I'll just give you a list of the message's claims. After each one, I'll tell you what I think.

  • It called our nation "pathetic," followed by something about bleeding-heart, secular liberals

There's really no need to address this directly. Keep reading and you'll figure out where I stand.

  • It uses the Senator's middle name, "Hussein."

This one's always fun. It comes with the built-in argument: "hey, that's really his name." We all know the purpose of that comment is to label him a terrorist. Did you choose your middle name, Mr. O.W.? Didn't think so. (I apologize for assuming the writer is male. That's just how I see him in my imagination. For the record, I also picture him in a white, pointy hat. But that's just, you know, what I think.)

  • It states that Senator Obama is a Muslim and "takes great care to conceal it by mentioning he went to Catholic school."

As long as I've hopped aboard the speculation train, let's just ride it to the next stop: I'm guessing O.W. was equally worked up over whether or not John F. Kennedy would become the Pope's puppet in the White House. Remember? Catholics used to fall subject to hate campaigns back in the day. Kinda interesting that since we've moved past that societal hurdle, it's now feasible to use Catholicism as a cover for the newest religion it's trendy to hate.

  • It states that we are at war with the "Muslim nation"

Islam is a peaceful religion. It has a few radical wackos that are very dangerous. In case you haven't noticed, Christianity has some of those, too. I pray that their form of terror doesn't go any farther than writing fear-driven, hate-laden e-mails and forwarding them around.

  • the message states that Senator Obama's "mother married a RADICAL Muslim."

What? O.W. is calling someone a religious radical?

Hey, O.W. The kettle called. He referred to you as "the pot." Yeah, AND he says "you're black, too." I wouldn't take that shit if I were you.

  • O.W. states that Senator Obama is the Anti-Christ.

OK, I can tolerate a lot of name-calling, but labeling a fellow human being the Anti-Christ is a little too Anti-Love-Thy-Neighbor for my comfort level.

  • It says that confirms all this stuff as factual.

Snopes is a website that debunks urban legends. O.W. has undoubtedly received links to this site from his grandkids after he sent them some other outlandish shit. The link in the email takes you to the site's front page. O.W. obviously hopes you won't click on the "politics" link, then the "Barack Obama" link, because once you do, you'll see a whole bunch of "red light" icons signifying that these claims have been debunked. If you're interested, here's a link straight to a very informative article.

  • It states that Senator Obama was sworn into Congress on the Quran.

Senator, why don't you take this one?

In the spirit of the six-word memior, I'll sum this up with a six-word response to the Original Writer:

What would Jesus do?
Not this.